Encomium to the Bravest Sheep of all.
By Ewen Shearer
This lamentation appeared on FirstFoot.com when Dolly the Sheep, the world's first successfully cloned mammal died in 2003.
The website is long gone, but a capture survives at the Wayback Machine. It's a fine piece of humour and fits right in with our ovine nonsense. Reproduced here to keep it alive. Kudos to the author, assuming it wasn't Dolly herself, in which case well doon y'wee lassie.
It was with profound sadness that we learned of the sudden and unexpected death of Dolly, our dear friend and sheep.
Dolly was proud to be Scottish and like so many Scots before her, she was a trailblazer, someone who led the way in her field. In fact, for most of her life, she had the whole field to herself.
Born and raised in Roslin, just outside Edinburgh, Dolly was always destined for greatness. Even at the age of 0 she became the first cloned animal in the world.
From that moment on, she dedicated her life to the research of genetics and bio-engineering and was also a regular contributor to "Farmers Weekly".
Always keen on outdoor pursuits, her love of football, cricket and tennis was severely curtailed in later years after the onset of arthritis, but she remained an active member of the community right up until her death in February 2003.
She died peacefully at her Roslin home, surrounded by her close family, a group of scientists and the litter of cloned pigs she had so lovingly taken under her wing.
As news of the great sheep's demise broke, tributes poured in from all over the animal world. Indeed, it is some measure of her international standing that her funeral service was attended by such luminaries as Miss Piggy, Mickey Mouse, Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear, Babe, Champion the Wonder Horse and Snoop Doggy Dog, who performed the requiem rap in Dolly's honour.
In accordance with her wishes, her remains were neither buried nor cremated but were instead lightly grilled until nicely pink in the middle and served with rosemary, mint sauce and dauphinoise potatoes.
Her legacy will undoubtedly go on. In her will, her most valuable possession, a genuine pure wool coat, was bequeathed to The Edinburgh Woollen Mill, an organisation for which her family has worked tirelessly over the years.
She will be sadly missed
Still, not to worry. We can always make another one.
Photo by Toni Barros